The Dogfather Part 1: a Muppets fanfic
by j.kin
Summary: A obvious parody of The Godfather but with the Muppets!
1. Chapter 1

The Dogfather Part I: A Muppets fanfiction

A obvious parody of The Godfather with the Muppets portraying the different roles in the movie. The Godfather is owned by Paramount Pictures, and The Muppets are owned by The Walt Disney Company.

Chapter 1: The Wedding Day Part 1

The movie starts when a monkey named Sal goes to Don Rowlf the Dog and tells him a story of what happened to his daughter.

Sal: I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but—I taught her never to dishonor her family; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken. Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life – beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again.

[Sal breaks down. The Don gestures to Gonzo to give Sal a drink.]

Sorry…

[Sal, taking the drink, sips from the shot glass]

I – I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison – suspended sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. And those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "for justice, we must go to Don Dog."

Don Dog (sitting behind his desk, petting a cat)

Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first?

Sal

What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.

Don Dog

What is that?

[Sal gets up to whisper his request into Don Dog's ear]

That I cannot do.

Sal

I'll give you anything you ask.

Don Dog

We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited to me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.

Sal

I didn't want to get into trouble.

Don Dog

I understand. You found paradise in America, had a good trade, made a good living. The police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say – "Don Dog give me justice" – But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Dogfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do murder, for money.

Sal

I ask you for justice.

Don Dog

That is not justice; your daughter is still alive.

Sal

Then they can suffer then, as she suffers.

(then)

How much shall I pay you?

Don Dog

Sal… Sal… What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then would fear you.

Sal

Be my friend –

(then, after bowing and the Don shrugs)

Dogfather?

Don Dog

Good

(then)

Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day – accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

Sal

Grazie, Dogfather

Don Dog

Prego

(then to Fozzie, after Sal leaves the room)

Ah, give this to ah, Floyd. I want reliable people that aren't gonna be carried away. I'm mean, we're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says.

The End of The Wedding Ceremony Part 1


	2. Chapter 2

The Dogfather Part I: A Muppets fanfiction

A obvious parody of The Godfather with the Muppets portraying the different roles in the movie. The Godfather is owned by Paramount Pictures, and The Muppets are owned by The Walt Disney Company.

Chapter 1: The Wedding Day Part 1

The movie starts when a monkey named Sal goes to Don Rowlf the Dog and tells him a story of what happened to his daughter.

Sal: I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but—I taught her never to dishonor her family; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken. Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life – beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again.

[Sal breaks down. The Don gestures to Gonzo to give Sal a drink.]

Sorry…

[Sal, taking the drink, sips from the shot glass]

I – I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison – suspended sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool. And those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "for justice, we must go to Don Dog."

Don Dog (sitting behind his desk, petting a cat)

Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first?

Sal

What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.

Don Dog

What is that?

[Sal gets up to whisper his request into Don Dog's ear]

That I cannot do.

Sal

I'll give you anything you ask.

Don Dog

We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel, for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited to me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt.

Sal

I didn't want to get into trouble.

Don Dog

I understand. You found paradise in America, had a good trade, made a good living. The police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say – "Don Dog give me justice" – But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Dogfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to do murder, for money.

Sal

I ask you for justice.

Don Dog

That is not justice; your daughter is still alive.

Sal

Then they can suffer then, as she suffers.

(then)

How much shall I pay you?

Don Dog

Sal… Sal… What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then would fear you.

Sal

Be my friend –

(then, after bowing and the Don shrugs)

Dogfather?

Don Dog

Good

(then)

Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day – accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day.

Sal

Grazie, Dogfather

Don Dog

Prego

(then to Fozzie, after Sal leaves the room)

Ah, give this to ah, Floyd. I want reliable people that aren't gonna be carried away. I'm mean, we're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says.

The End of The Wedding Ceremony Part 1


End file.
